Carlos.

I hate you..
I finally fucking hate you.

Do you want to know why?

Because you took my heart and you broke it. You made me bleed in so many different forms. I trusted you and I loved you and you threw it all away in an instant and broke me more than anyone ever has.

I still miss you.. I still remember you. I still want you.

I look for people who remind me of you. I want you back.. I want to be able to breathe again... to fucking feel again. But you took it all away.

When I finally get a chance to have someone good... who’s pure and wants me... I can’t let him have me because letting someone else into a heart that you destroyed is pure suicide. How can I feel again? How do I love again? You broke everything about me and now I am numb. I’m numb because of you.

You are off living it up with the love of YOUR life and you have no worries and you are happy and excited and joyful... you are in love and you know that she won’t leave you. You know that all is well in your heart.

I hate you for that. I will always hate you for that.